She-wolf

This Saturday I am to have my first date in over two years. The "lucky" fellow (let's call him A) is someone I have been conversing with on POF for about a week. He seems decent enough. He is sporty and shares my love of tea and Marvel films. He has a decent body and an actual working face. The only thing missing is my enthusiasm.

I relayed the news to my friend Michael. He is part of what my friend Cinders would call a "smuggle" (smug couple). Smuggles are an odd breed. No longer merely content with their own relationships, they seek to make those around them happy in relationships too. On this basis, I thought he would be ecstatic about the news that I was finally throwing off the shackles of impending spinsterdom.

However, sensing my lack of enthusiasm, he shook his head sympathetically and informed me that I shouldn't just settle for someone on the basis that he happens to be anatomically male and/or willing to date me. You can't bloody win with smuggles. He has been telling me for months I will find "the right guy"-does he think these mythical warlocks fall from the sky? If you're lucky enough to meet someone the "organic" way-like through mutual friends or at the pub-then good for you. Unfortunately this appears to be a rare occurrence these days, especially in a confined and unvarying social environment.

It was easy to meet single guys in my early 20s. They populated the student union, the lecture theatres, and the streets. At parties they congregated and roamed in packs, like wolves, on the prowl for… whatever it is that wolves like to eat. They were wild, untamed, and numerous. Unfortunately, when one grows old, the pool of "single guys you sort of know" is rapidly depleted. One by one, the wolves have been captured and domesticated by intrepid explorer type girls, who tame the wolves with shelter, and the promise of regular food. It feels like I’ve entered the wilderness that is the dating scene right when the packs have dispersed. All that is left are the carcasses. 

And so I told Michael, THIS is why single people must actively engage in awkward contrived social interactions, with this she-wolf utilising online dating to expand her hunting ground. Once I had thoroughly depressed Michael with my wolf pack analogy, he went home and begged his girlfriend to never leave him.

So, i'll keep you updated on my expedition. Brb. Hunting.